I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
