Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
honey bunches of taint.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I have surprise drugs for everyone
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
