dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
