I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
