I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
