so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Randomize
