FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
