We should be called the Road Head Warriors
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
