Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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