butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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