I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
