Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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