Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
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