White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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