please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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