Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
