Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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