Heybabeimwearingurpanties
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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