Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
