Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
