Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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