Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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