Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
they're like a gay fantastic four
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
