Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
