Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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