You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
