she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
