the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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