so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
