I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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