I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
