I wish I only lived at night.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
