whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
So vagazzling was a success
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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