My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
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