How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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