Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
