Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
