Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
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