He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
