i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
