Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
