Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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