In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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