youre lurking in front of me
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I can feel your judgement through the phone
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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