Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
