yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
