My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
