think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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