im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Randomize
