her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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